At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
