I want to make a zoo with you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
