...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
