k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
