the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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