My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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