glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
