I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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