Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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