She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
These tits shall not be calmed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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