Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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