I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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