somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
