She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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