bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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