yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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