If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
