so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
