So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize