he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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