i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
