I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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