I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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