Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
