it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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