if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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