Banned from zoo.
Again?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
