he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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