Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
soo... how was my night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
