out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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