Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
