Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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