I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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