I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
