i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
