You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
