My liver just broke up with me...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
