I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
