I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize