I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
