we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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