I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
