So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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