Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she smelled like a LAN party
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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