oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Terrible idea I love it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
