She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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