Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I need a beard to bite.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
