I CAN MOONWALK!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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