Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
