Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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