I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize