I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
