At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
