i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You're like the curious george of whores
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
