the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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