are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He? As in you personified your dick?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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