Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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