is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
