So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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