oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
