Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
