The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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